Watching: The Wedding Date

So, I accidentally deleted my first post. I'm still new at this, and took no deep looming caution to when they warned me that 'this action cannot be reversed' was indeed the truth, and in retrospect should have had a better sense of care.

Nevertheless, I prevail.

You didn't miss much, I was just mulling over deciding between two men to take to my best friend's wedding reception, comparing my predicament to pretty much every romcom ever made, and as an update to such matters I chose neither boy as a date. I'm pretty much flying solo, unless you count going with my other best friend, who by a great stroke of fortune, happens to be male, handsome, and down to dance. Whether he is a good dancer or not is definitely not an important enough matter to consider addressing.
So, I found out my best friend was getting married in November. I've since written about four to five (depended on how many sentences you count as a proper speech) maid of honor toasts, all of which I deemed inappropriate for mixed company. Upon researching  movies for some good ideas, I found that a helluva lot of movies use the same speeches over and over again!

Exhibit A:
"If you must lie, lie in the arms of one you love, if you must steal, steal away from bad company..." etc.

Gag me with a spoon.

We've all heard that load of crap before, that cheesy stream of blabber trying to come across as wit. Most every other movie has some person, be it man or woman, sobbing something equally cheesy. Or the comedic favorite: being belligerently drunk and saying something personal and/or mean about someone in the room, and getting yanked off the stage by a sober family member.

In a word, I'm quickly learning that though movies can give you a couple wise lines about relationships at times, and carefully woven fairy tale dreams to strive for, they rarely have something I can actually use. Don't judge me, I never thought movies would be my roadmaps for life, I'm just saying its a little hard to swallow when so many things in my life have been such a cliche, that not all things are like they are in the movies.

So, SHH! Don't tell anyone (and most of all my bestie), but like all things I'm stumped on, I went ahead and Googled it. I got some good ideas to put in the speech, but nothing really seems good or clever or appropriate enough for the love of my life, my sister, my girlfirend I wish had been born a man so I could marry myself.

She's so doubtless and fearless about it all that it scares me. She met the guy six months ago, so I don't have much to say in regards to him either, since we've barely hung out. I've been avoiding settling on what to say, and my time is running out. She gets married the day after tomorrow.

To top it all, I got an atom bomb dropped on me that put me in tears after I saw her tonight, having her tell me that because I was not Mormon like her, I couldn't watch her actually get married, walk her down the aisle, or even help her get ready. I would show up to basically take pictures, then wait outside the ice castle off the 5 freeway also known as their sacred 'Temple' until it was all over. She had been waiting this long to tell me because she had hoping she could change up the rules, but her efforts were, of course, futile, and she had to come to terms with it now.

I waited until after she left to have a cry about it. Then, I had a bit of unnecessary road rage, and called my ex to bitch at him too.

Tonight, as I write this, I realize that all of this, my lack of speech-writing, and my bridesmaid-zilla attitude behind the scenes, is just a cover-up for my real underlying fear of losing my best friend to someone else, while I feel left behind man-less and friendless. I feel like my heart is treating this like her death-day instead of her wedding day. For all the while, as I was helping her prepare for the wedding, with the fittings and color swatches and showers and bachelorettes, I felt happy so long as I was still as involved as I possibly could be. I strove to be an integral part of her big day. She's done a great job of humoring me in this way.
Until tonight. I even asked her if there was a way I could fake being Mormon for the short time, hell, I'd kiss a dozen frogs if it meant I could be Mormon for a day. She said there was some sort of certificate I had to get signed to prove it to the religious nazis over at the Temple. I need a permission slip to see my best friend get married? Anyone else think that's a load of shit?
Anyone?
Bueller?
I love you guys, you must know, both of my besties are Mormon, so, of course, I'll have to go through this again when my pretty best guy friend has his turn at the altar. But seriously, right now, all I want to say is:

SCREW the Mormon religion.

 >:(    <-- Mad face.